Sizing Trouble?

I am having the hardest time, and debating ripping almost the whole thing out. Advice?
I am making the 44" size for (what I have to now admit) my disproportionately larger chest of 45". What I have found: The pieces across the bust fit okay, and the sleeves are tight, but also okay. The skirt is only half-complete but looking fine. (I would post photos but they are just too embarrassing!)

• The back is huge, and the armscyes are huge. So much so that upon setting the sleeves, the arm holes almost pleat a little to keep up.
• The neck is monstrous, and doesn't lay prettily like the photo, but creeps halfway up my head and hides the fact that, yes, indeed I DO have a neck!

I think my problem is this: I think I needed to do a smaller size to fit my body, and somehow increase through the chest (someone here...or was it in Ravelry? Has already asked about bust shortrows? But I think with the diagonal shaping it may be impossible?)

What do you think about:

• Ripping out the neck to only about 2 inches?
• Creating side seams to take up the massive amount of extra fabric under the arms?
• Creating darts in the lower back?
• Ripping out everything but the sleeves and skirt, re-knitting to a smaller size, somehow making the bigger sleeves and skirt fit onto the new smaller body, and not being disappointed when the new size stretches oddly over the chest?

And finally a question for everyone who loves the fit of theirs: Does it fit your body but have negative ease across your chest?

Thanks for being a part of this KAL. It is insanely helpful to have other people knitting the same pattern!